In this sense, integrity is one of the three pillars of Information Security (Confidentiality, and Availability being the other two). But what I'd like to write about today does not concern data integrity. Rather, I am writing about Personal Integrity.
Personal integrity may be one of the most important concepts a man or woman can contemplate. Unfortunately, I often see, what I judge to be, a lack of integrity in our modern society. Our thoughts, words, and deeds do not always assist us in maintaining personal integrity. In deed, it seems at times that others do not even expect to find integrity with our statements. Perhaps even more grave is that the lack of awareness of an integrity deficit and the lack of a conscious intention of who we desire to be, leads to whimsical decisions, and destinations as random as the resting place for leaves blown in the wind.
In severe circumstances we may find the lack of integrity leading to broken hearts, broken dreams, or loved ones lost. I believe those dire circumstances can be avoided by taking charge of our thoughts, words, and deeds, on a much more casual level. I think that every little thing we think, say, or do, moves us, if even only slightly, in one direction or the other.
Immediate consequences may be deemed inconsequential. For example, consider the person who tells their friend that they will call them tomorrow, but no call is made. This seems to be a small oversight. I would argue that the person who committed to making the call, should take a look at their history of actions, to see if there is a pattern. How many times might person A say that they will call person B, and not follow through, before person B gets the message that person A is not dependable? Worse still, might person B not infer that they are not important to person A?
Some might argue that person B should just get over it. And no doubt they should. But, this isn't about person B. This is about person A. Perhaps person A is so used to their words having no integrity in the world, that impacts who they are.
If person A says one thing, and does another, when dealing with person B, and it isn't an isolated incident, how far might we have to go to find the roots of this issue?
Assume for a moment that person B isn't the only one who has been waiting for a phone call. Perhaps persons C through Z have similar tales to tell. Maybe person D can take this even farther. Perhaps there is a long list of little things that people could complain about - but they don't. To hell with the whole alphabet - this isn't about them. This is only about person A.
The real question for person A is this: Do you ever tell yourself things - and then not follow through? Have you ever said you wouldn't eat any desert, and then sit down on the couch to watch TV with a bowl of ice-cream? Have you ever told yourself that you were going to exercise at least three times per week, and then find "more important" things to do every day of the week? Are you out of integrity with yourself?
If you are out of integrity with yourself, the only easily noticeable symptoms may be that you are out of integrity with the friends and family around you. And, I might add - you just might be lucky to be able to see that. For some people, they show up for everyone in their lives, except themselves. They continually put others ahead of themselves to their own detriment. What is that about? Hey - if the airplane is crashing and you need to help someone sitting next to you... put your own oxygen mask on first!
I challenge my readers to find the little things that they say they are going to do and then don't. I challenge you to find them - and then make amends. No one wants to hear "I'm sorry". Some folks use those words so frequently, they should have them tattooed on their foreheads. If you are out of integrity with someone else - find out what you need to do to get back in integrity with them. If you are out of integrity with yourself. Figure out a way to get back in integrity with yourself.
Step by step, we walk the thousand mile road. You are either walking towards your destination, or not. If you are having an integrity deficit in your life, try this exercise:
1. Decide where you want to end up in your life (this is a big deal in and of itself).
2. Come up with something you will need to do to get there. (e.g. a short term goal)
3. Evaluate the short term goal, and break it into parts, if need be, that can be accomplished in one week.
4. Tell a close friend what your well defined goal is, and when you will have accomplished it. (hint: a well defined goal has something about it that makes it obvious whether it has been accomplished or not.)
5. Meet again with your friend, a week later, or group of friends if you made this even more public (which is a really good idea). Report on your success or failure.
6. Discuss the results, then set another goal for the following week. Invite your friend to set their own personal goal.
7. Invite more people into your "circle of success", and continue to live the life you intend.
Good luck - My own personal goal is to exercise at least three times per week - for at least one half hour per day. Ideally, I would like to exercise at least 30 minutes, every day. But, I don't want to set myself up for failure. It is important to set goals that you CAN reach. Otherwise, you end up beating yourself up every week. Knowing ones limitations is important too. I know there will be days when I will not be able to exercise - but there should be no week that I cannot exercise at least three days.
I'm off to the elliptical machine now. Feel free to chime in here and let me know how your personal goals are doing.
Yours in Integrity,
Ken
